


this is not a meet-cute

by wyomingnot



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Holidays, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:53:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21889423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyomingnot/pseuds/wyomingnot
Summary: He wasn't lonely this holiday season, hoping for some Christmas Magic to drop The Perfect Man into his life. No matter what his friend Phasma said.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 28
Kudos: 105
Collections: Kylux Fanworks Secret Santa 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [trekwars777](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trekwars777/gifts).

> My first Kylux Secret Santa! I had fun. I hope trekwars777, and everyone else, enjoys!

Armitage Hux lived a small, quiet life with his cat, Millicent. He worked from home and had a decent apartment that he owned. He didn’t have many friends, only one really, plus a few acquaintances from his previous job, and he was completely okay with that. He wasn't lonely this holiday season, hoping for some Christmas Magic to drop The Perfect Man into his life. No matter what his friend Phasma said.

Not that Kylo Ren was perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But dropped unceremoniously into Hux’s life he was. Repeatedly. 

The first time was at the supermarket. Hux had gotten it into his head to make a lasagna, and he also needed to get started on his holiday baking. He had pulled his cart off to the side of the aisle, out of the way of any reasonable person, and was looking up a recipe to make absolutely sure he got the right flour.

His phone was knocked right out of his hands when some idiot walked straight into his cart and dropped an armload of boxes on top of his groceries. Thankfully the phone landed safely in the shopping cart, and Hux himself probably, maybe, wouldn’t bruise. His assailant was babbling some kind of apology that Hux couldn’t be bothered with.

“Whatever,” Hux snapped. “Just get your Froot Loops and watch where you’re going.”

The tall man, and he was indeed tall - even taller than Hux -grabbed his last box and gave another “sorry!” all while staring at Hux in a way he likely thought was subtle. He must have realized it was not as his whole body jerked, and he turned and practically ran out of the aisle.

Hux rolled his eyes and went back to his phone and his shopping. He took his time, hopefully giving the odd man enough time to finish and leave. Still, Hux kept an eye out while he gathered the remaining items on his list. He didn’t expect the other man to cause any problems or harm, but the way he stared had been unsettling.

He didn’t properly relax until he was home with the door closed and secured behind him. Millicent gazed at him from the highest platform of her cat tree across the room.

“No, don’t get up,” Hux said as he kicked off his shoes, “I’ll take care of it.” He slid on his house shoes and neatly lined up his discarded street shoes by the door. By the time he set down his shopping bags on the kitchen counter, Millicent had descended from her perch and sauntered over to join him in the kitchen. She sat patiently by her food dish.

“Meow.”

“May I please put my food away first?”

“Meow.”

“Yes, I know you’re starving. Simply wasting away.”

“Meow.”

“I do appreciate your not trying to trip me while I make you wait.”

Millicent flopped down and began licking her butt.

“Wonderful choice of appetizer, my dear,” he said as he folded up the now-empty bags and put them away. He pulled out two cans of cat food and held them up for Millicent to see. “Which goes better with ass, chicken or salmon?”

~~~

He learned the clumsy stranger’s name later that week. 

Hux had just finished setting up for his weekly livestream. Monetizing his YouTube channel was all fine and good, but it was his devoted fans (customers? He wasn’t sure) on his Patreon that made it possible to keep his channel fresh.

His father would have been appalled; he hadn’t even allowed Armitage to set up any social media presence for the company. Brendol would have called him an attention-seeking whore, said that it was appropriate that a useless boy made a useless living. Would have, if he weren’t dead.

The senior Hux’s estate had financed Armitage’s new life, free from abuse and unattainable expectations. The first time his Patreon payout was enough that he didn’t have to use his inheritance to buy food, he bought a bottle of cheap champagne and poured it out over his father’s grave. “Thank you, father. Without you this would not have been possible.” It was the only sincere thanks he had ever given the man.

His Patreon income, though modest, kept growing over time. His weekly livestreams continued to pull in new subscribers, and Hux felt the pressure to ensure he kept up with his customers’ (fans?) expectations. But given how much he actually enjoyed his work, it wasn’t overly stressful.

Except for times like tonight. He wanted to do something special for the week before Christmas. He had cancelled his next stream since it would fall on Christmas Day itself, so this one had to be special. He checked his watch - two minutes until the cookies were done, five minutes until he went live. He tried not to pace but failed, settling for standing in front of the oven, peering in like a small child.

The loud buzz from the building’s door intercom startled Hux, but nobody saw his scared jump or heard his yelp of surprise. He tried to ignore the grating sound as he donned oven mitts, but whoever was out there was just standing on the button. 

Hux whipped the mitts off, stalked to the intercom, and switched on the camera. The display revealed the odd man from the supermarket the other day. Hux was (mostly) sure he hadn’t been followed home that day. It had to be some very odd coincidence. He took a deep breath and pressed the talk button. “What.”

“Oh, man. I’m glad someone’s home,” the man said, pushing the hair back off his forehead. “I locked myself out. Could you buzz me in?” He had the gall to flash puppy-dog eyes at the camera.

“I don’t know who you are,” Hux snapped. “Why should I let you in? You could be a burglar.”

“I’m not a burglar! I live here, I swear! My name is Kylo. I live in 2B. I’ve got a Darth Vader welcome mat in the hall and a wreath with TIE fighters on my door.”

“Seriously?” Hux asked the empty room. He was painfully aware of the mat and wreath in question. They were across the hall. He shook his head in disbelief then hit the door open button and shut off the camera, wanting this over now. He hoped there was no way Kylo (what the hell kind of name was that anyway?) could tell which apartment had let him in. He had no time for neighbors right now.

Oh! Time! “Shite,” he muttered as he ran back to the kitchen to hurriedly pull out the sheet of overcooked, but not yet burned, cookies. He had planned on plating them, but there was no time. He was already a minute late for his stream. 

~~~

Kylo had thought the voice over the intercom sounded familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. Probably he had heard it through the wall or from down the hall. Didn’t really matter. Once the door buzzed, he yelled out a “Thanks!” and hustled in and up the stairs two at a time with his dinner.

His spare key was under the mat, and he wasted no time making sure Lord Vader was back in place as he rushed in and sat down on the sofa in front of his waiting laptop, where his favorite livestream was just starting.

And there was the object of his ridiculous affections, Armitage, apologizing for his tardiness. Apparently his bonehead neighbor locked himself out and interrupted Armitage’s last minute preparations.

Kylo sat back. It couldn’t be. The voice over the intercom had sounded familiar, but it wasn’t accented like Armitage’s. People watching the stream were asking questions about the neighbor. Was he nice? Was he hot? Armitage called him ridiculous but unconventionally attractive. Then he went on to describe Kylo in basic terms and finished with a disparaging remark about his name, something Kylo had heard a time or three from other people.

He couldn’t decide what to do with all this. His silly internet crush lived in his building. And had seen him at very-much-not his best. Twice. Not good. A bad first impression could be overcome. A bad second impression was so much worse. Kylo let himself fall sideways on the sofa and tried to smother himself with a throw pillow. 

His dog picked this moment to realize Kylo was home. He bounded over and flumped down on the sofa, settling his head on Kylo’s elbow. Kylo obligingly pet his head. “What do you think, boy? Is it hopeless?”

The dog just huffed and slobbered on Kylo’s arm.

“Thanks, man.”

~~~

Christmas Eve morning dawned overcast with a chance of afternoon snow. Hux decided it would be best to do his holiday gift deliveries early. He could take Millie for her walk in any snow that fell, but he didn’t want to drive in it.

He dropped off small parcels of baked goods to the various businesses he favored and whose staff were stuck working right up to Christmas. The library, book shop, coffee shop, the post office, a handful of restaurants, and even the convenience shore where he usually fueled his car, they all received a bundle of homemade treats. Some folks remembered him from the previous year. Others were confused, but everyone seemed to appreciate the token gift and wished him a happy holiday.

His last stop was at the veterinary clinic that tended to Millicent and where his good friend Phasma worked as the lead vet. There was just a skeleton crew today - Phas, Mitaka the receptionist, and Unamo, one of the techs. They were glad to see him and his cookies, but they gave him a little grief for not bringing Millicent. He had to remind them that while this was his preferred veterinary establishment, Millicent preferred not to go there at all.

A light snow had started to fall by the time he left Phasma’s clinic. He got home later than expected to find Millicent waiting by the door. Hux didn’t bother taking off his coat, he just changed into snow boots before taking Millie’s gear off the hook by the door. 

Millicent’s harness training had begun early, as soon as she was big enough for a small harness. They discovered the dog park quite by accident on one of their early walks. Hux had asked Phasma if it would be okay to take Millicent there. Phasma encouraged it, with the caveat that he always keep Millie on the leash. Even once the regulars got used to her presence, there would always be the possibility of new animals and also just random things that might spook her. So always keep a good grip on the leash and a good eye on Millicent.

“Hope you’re in the mood for snow, Millie,” he said as he put her in the harness and attached the leash. “Let’s go.”

He spared a glance at Kylo’s mat on their way out. The boots that had been there when he came in weren’t there anymore. Hopefully Kylo had left right after Hux got in. Hux was having a lovely day so far, and he just wasn’t up for any awkwardness that surely would come if he and Kylo ran into one another.

As Hux and Millie made their way to the dog park, the snow got heavier. Thankfully it wasn’t windy - just fat flakes of snow audibly landing on the ground and Hux’s head and shoulders as he and Millie made the short trip.

When they got to the park, Hux let Millicent meander around a little bit before settling himself on a bench under a tree. He let her retractable leash out as far as it would go, then pulled out his phone. He didn’t expect to have any email, but he couldn’t resist checking. And then possibly playing a game while Millie did her thing. 

He had just put his phone back in his coat pocket when he heard a vaguely familiar voice yelling, “Cujo! Stop! Cujo!” Followed almost immediately by Millie’s hissing, a yowl, and a sharp tug on the leash.

Who named their dog Cujo? Someone with a big scary dog was Hux’s guess. He stood up and turned around to see Millie chasing a small, tan French bulldog-looking blur, followed closely by none other than Kylo Ren clutching the tan dog’s leash. 

He couldn’t even begin to believe the sight, and the next thing he knew, there were two tangled leashes, a dog and a cat at his feet, and Kylo Ren bound up in the leashes with him. 

It was madness. Sheer madness. Hux couldn’t help but yell, “My life is not a romantic comedy!” Unfortunately, it was right in Kylo’s face. Kylo did not seem to mind. He was blushing but also smiling.

“Um. Sorry I keep running into you. It’s not intentional, I swear.”

Hux looked down to see Millie and Cujo engaged in friendly sniffing. “You named your dog Cujo.”

“It was the name he came with. I asked if he wanted a new name to go with the new home, but. Well. He’s a dog.”

“You are bizarre.”

Kylo shrugged. “Would it be okay if I kissed you? It seems like the appropriate thing to do in this situation.”

“I beg your pardon! It certainly is not. Did you somehow not hear when I said I’m not living in a rom-com?”

“I couldn’t miss that. I just thought…” he trailed off and shrugged. 

Hux took a moment to really look at Kylo Ren. And notice how well he was built. And think about his lovely voice, too. 

“Maybe I could make you dinner? And kiss you after?” Kylo tried again.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” Hux countered.

“Oh. I didn’t realize.”

“How do you not know Christmas is tomorrow?” Honestly, Hux thought, what kind of person didn’t know that?

Kylo grinned. “I’m Jewish.”

“Oh.” Now Hux was embarrassed. “Okay, then. Dinner.”

Kylo’s grin widened into a genuine smile. “And after dinner?”

“We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trekwars777 wanted "Modern AU, Millicent the kitty, Kylo having a dog named Cujo, Hux as a musician (plays sax)". sorry I couldn't work in the sax.
> 
> Also apologies because this was meant to be a lego-illustrated story, but. Well. Time got away from me. I'm planning on adding pics soon.
> 
> ... and thank you to RexLuscus for last minute beta duties! All remaining mistakes are my own.


	2. a visual epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> set some unspecified time after the events of chapter 1.

  


Hux was late getting home from a business meeting downtown, and neither Millicent nor Kylo would let him change clothes before their afternoon walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still planning on pics for the main story; they just haven't happened yet.
> 
> I'm also hoping I can cough up another chapter with actual words. I have visions of a NYE party at Phasma's...

**Author's Note:**

> trekwars777 wanted "Modern AU, Millicent the kitty, Kylo having a dog named Cujo, Hux as a musician (plays sax)". sorry I couldn't work in the sax.
> 
> Also apologies because this was meant to be a lego-illustrated story, but. Well. Time got away from me. I'm planning on adding pics soon.
> 
> ... and thank you to RexLuscus for last minute beta duties! All remaining mistakes are my own.
> 
> [ _(if you care to share the story on tumblr)_](https://wyomingnot.tumblr.com/post/189796113585/this-is-not-a-meet-cute-wyomingnot-star-wars)_ [(if you care to share the epilogue on tumblr)](https://wyomingnot.tumblr.com/post/190123021535/a-visual-epilogue-for-my-kyluxsecretsanta)_


End file.
